i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
