shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
