her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
