he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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