yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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