I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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