he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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