God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
now i know why i became what i already was.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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