So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
