$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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