...so i touched it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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