Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
