nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
