Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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