She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this just has baby written all over it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
