I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
