you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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