i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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