Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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