Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were destined to go to rehab together
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
