So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
