i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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