the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
