Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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