Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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