so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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