Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
