somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dignity is for republicans.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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