She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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