I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
