I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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