i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
