I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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