dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
