Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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