Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
