She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
