Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
