He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
