i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
