Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
