so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
