last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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