My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
false alarm. still invincible.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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