it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
