I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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