i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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