kristin has been a bad kristin
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
