I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
