Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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