I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
